I’ve been meaning to accompany the video I posted two days ago with a blog, but life got in the way. The last couple of weeks have been surreal…
For those of you who’ve been following my blog for a while, the first half of the vlog is just a few words about me (that you probably already know) but on the other half I reveal my news and briefly explain how all came together.
There are some things that didn’t make it into the vlog as I tried to keep it as short as possible. The original recording was 40 minutes long, so I thought it’d be better to give you some background info here.
As you probably know, I have been for the last three years trying to get out of my desk, number-based, not for me job. I’ve coped relatively well, considering my mental health struggles (anxiety, depression) and a million other things that got in the way (e.g. living with a flatmate for a while in order to repay my loan), the set of coping techniques I came up with worked great for a while (and my post on that was one of the most read ones), but I’ve reached a point that I feel I’m wasting 8 hours of my day in front of the PC that I would utilise much better, the money and comfortable life are not enough, so now the time has come.
I’m finally in a position (or at least as close to as I can ever be) I can quit my job and try different things.
Initially the idea of completely abandoning my efforts for another 9 to 5 job, leaving security and certainty behind was terrifying but the more I thought about it the more it felt like the best time to take the risk.
After I came back from Cyprus in January I was actively and intensely looking for another job, more meaningful, more creative more of everything, but the ones I was interested in I either didn’t have the experience or didn’t pay enough. Then I had an idea for a YouTube channel which will hopefully now come to life in September, if all goes well.
That kept me going and fed my creativity cravings. I was going to work on it whilst in my full-time job but that would have given me zero free time, with the volunteering and other things I do outside work. It got me thinking…
How can I make it out of a full time, 9-5 job completely?
Co-incidentally a couple of friends whilst talking about what else I can do mentioned teaching and how they’d thought I’d make a great teacher and that could put my creativity to great use, but the problem is, every single teacher I know is overworked, underpaid and have no social life. That’s not a compromise I was willing to take.
Then Donna, in a chat we had a couple of weeks later, mentioned TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language). And it all came together. I can teach English aboard, to enable me to travel like I always wanted and give me the freedom to visit Cyprus more often to see my family and start work on my Youtube channel project idea.
I wanted to visit home longer than a few weeks for a years. And now it’s my chance. And a TEFL qualification would be the perfect way to ensure I don’t get stuck in Cyprus, otherwise all this would be for nothing.
So after some research on Teaching English abroad (I’ll write a separate post on that with lots of useful information) I decided to apply for a full-time, month long CELTA course, just after the rental agreement expires for my flat, in a city I’ve never been before, Cambridge. I applied, I had my interview and I got a place. I even got an Advanced Learner Loan to cover the fees for now until I can afford to repay it.
Next step was to book my one way ticket to Cyprus. And I now have a date, 25th of August. I’m spending four months back home, finally catching up with all my friends, SUNSHINE, quality time and Christmas with family, exploring my little island whilst I work part-time and kick off my Youtube project.
Then if all goes as desired, in January I’ll secure my first TEFL job in a country ideally outside Europe, as I’ve never been.
I’m absolutely terrified and excited in equal measure.
Worried my course will get cancelled or something might happen and ruin my plans. Petrified that the little money I’m saving won’t be enough to keep me going, horrified I may get trapped in Cyprus, terrified I will struggle with living with others after three years living on my own, in a country other than the UK, that’s been home for the last 10 years.
But so excited I will finally at least attempt to chase my dreams. Try different things, travel, use my creativity every single day.
Needless to say my anxiety levels are reaching dangerous highs almost daily but the thrill and absolute joy of what is about to come makes it all worth it.
A few friends and family still hope that I’ll ‘find the love of my life’ and either stay in Southampton or Cyprus. Even in 2019 it’s tough for some to comprehend that being in relationship is not a priority. Of course I still would like to have family, but not now and not ever if it’s not with the right person. That’s another compromise I am not willing to make.
I sometimes feel guilty I feel this way, that a boring but OK job, with lovely colleagues and a comfortable, conventional life is not enough. I am aware that others would love to be in my position. But I am not. It’s just doesn’t fit my personality, as hard as I try. And I’ve tried hard the last three years. I have to at least give myself the chance to be who I am full time. There’s so much I can do and so much I can help with.
I feel I need to talk about the B-word. Though it wasn’t the main reason, Brexit and the current political situation definitely helped my decision. I truly can’t believe what is happening right now. Moving outside the UK was something I wouldn’t even consider a year or two ago but right now, it probably is for the best. It will always feel like home and I will come back, I think. That’s a whole other post though.
Despite the anxiety, doubts and everything else, this just feels right. Maybe I’m wrong but I have a good feeling about this.
So that’s my news. I’m leaving my job in July, moving to Cambridge for a month to study CELTA, moving to Cyprus for four months to draw, film, take pictures, try random jobs like I always wanted to e.g. work in a farm, waitressing and other odd ones I have in mind and then travel teaching English.
Wish me luck!